Tuesday, October 25, 2011

You and your boyfriend might be obnoxious if...

Remember how I said in my last blog that the "happy posts" would be scarce? Yeah, I wasn't kidding. I think I can speak for a large number of the student body when I say that there are a lot of really obnoxious couples at school.

Now, to be an obnoxious couple I believe you have to fall into one of two categories.

1. What I like to call the "Twilight" couple. Twilight couple basically means that they are like Edward and Bella. For those of you that haven't read Twilight (first off, lucky you) here's a synopsis in just a few short lines:

Bella: What? Edward's a vampire?
Edward: I watch you in your sleep.
Bella: How romantic! *proceeds to throw her entire life away for a vampire that wants to suck bodily fluids out of her body via her neck*

That is pretty much Twilight in a nut shell. While I'm not implying that the man in this particular form of relationship is wanting to suck his girlfriend's blood, per say, I am implying that these types of couples totally disregard the rest of the people in their lives and have eyes only for the person that they could potentially reproduce with. I have witnessed a lot of relationships like these (and if my very good friend reads this, he'll know I'm talking about him) and I can honestly say that this is easily the more obnoxious kind if you are friends with one or both of the people in the relationship.

Furthermore let me add that this type of relationship (while you might have a crazy sex drive now) is not socially healthy. Eventually your friends are going to be fed up with all of the testosterone fueled intimacy you've been displaying with your significant other and your friends are going to ditch you and find people that they actually can spend time with without wanting to punch a small child. Then when you break up with your so called "sweetheart/honey bunches of oats/bed buddy" (which almost always happens, except for the rare couple [like my parents]) you'll have no friends to go back to because you were dumb enough to live in the moment and think with your reproductive organs instead of your brain. Nice job. In the case of Twilight, Bella does in fact almost die from like 10 different people, one of which is her killer mutant demon baby spawn that she made with her BOYFRIEND.

2. The other category of "obnoxious couple" is the couple that I like to think of as the "Oh-my-God-I-can't-watch-them-for-fear-of-projectile-vomiting" couple. These couples, in my personal opinion, are on the completely opposite end of the spectrum. Their "love (lust)" is purely physical.They're not all lovey dovey with each other. They both just have one thing in common: a raging sex drive. These are the two kids you see in school who look like a pair of writing eels attached at the lips, and they look like they're trying to eat each others faces. You know what I'm talking about, because you probably go to public school, so you've seen it first hand unless you go through every passing period with a paper bag over your head. I feel like I need to apologize on behalf of these couples, because we all know they don't surface for air enough to get the breath required to form an apology themselves. So... sorry they're so gross.

Personally I find the first type of obnoxious couple more annoying... maybe that's just me. I know for a fact that you can be dating someone and still find a balance between your boy/girl friend and your other friends, because I happen to be really good friends with a lot of people who do just that. Honestly, people, let's keep it classy.

This has been the pissy third wheel, bidding you all good night.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Things I Like About High School

I figured that because I posted a list of things I hate about high school I should post the reasons that I still tell myself to get my butt out of bed every day and take the ten minute drive to endure pris- I mean education.

Here it is, the significantly shorter list of things I like about high school:

  1. Orchestra. I love it about 90% of the time when people are putting forth an effort. I know we have the potential, so let's be kick butt this year, guys.
  2. I get to see my friends 5 days a week, plus whenever I see them on the weekends. That's nice... well... until the teach yells at us, but at least we can laugh about it later.
  3. We're at that age where we have some responsibility but not a ton, so we can still have fun.
  4. Because of high school I'm not working 8 hours a day 5 days a week.
  5. It seems like I'm always meeting new people, even if it's not necessarily people that go to school with me, when I go out with friends to places I seem to make new friends, and that's a good feeling.
  6. Watching the drama go down day after day get's pretty entertaining after a while.
  7. There isn't a better place to go people watching than in a school like LHS. Diversity provides free entertainment, and hey, I'm still getting an education, so it's all good.
  8. A lot of my teachers have been truly a gift and have helped me find what I'm interested in and what I'm not so good at.
  9. I FREAKING LOVE MY STUCO FAMILY. I would not sizzle like bacon for any other group of people at this school after they sing me happy birthday at a retreat. Not even the orchestra. Ain't no party like a StuCo party. Bring it districts, I'm ready to rock.
  10. Contest contest contest. I know a lot of people stress out about it but I love contest so much. It's the one time where it's ok to show off how hard you've worked. If I didn't have school I couldn't compete.
  11. In relation to the above reason, it's because of Liberty Public Schools that I fell in love with music in the first place. The teacher played Harry Potter on the viola and I knew that I was going to play that instrument.
  12. I know I already said my friends as a reason, but I don't think I have any other group of people that I love being around more. I have their back and I know they have mine.
  13. Math and AP Gov are a freaking riot every single day. Granted I hate being in average math, and I've hated my math classes since Freshmen year, I really actually like the people in math this year... there just isn't a work ethic. AP Gov though, let me tell you about AP Gov: I've never had a group of kids in one classroom that I've loved being around more than the people in my Government class. Old friends and new friends together just makes it the best way to end the day (even if the teacher did move us all around and mess the seating up).
  14. I'll admit it... some of the stuff I'm learning is interesting. Just some of it.
  15. Study hall might be the best think that has ever happened to me. Just sayin'.
Yeah this list went against the grain a lot, so I suggest you print a hard copy of this and save it, because I probably won't make another one again for a long time.

This is JewFro, signing off.
Yeah buddy.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Chronicles of a High School Student: The Orchestra, the Coffee, and the Midterm

Despite past thoughts on how I thought this week was GOING to go, I can say I was completely wrong. For the record, that is absolutely a good thing.

List of reasons as to why I thought this week was going to suck:

1. I thought my life was slowly spiraling downwards
2. I thought our orchestra was going to be a hot mess at tonight's concert (sorry, but it's true, guys).
3. I have a freaking mid-term in AP Gov Thursday, among a multitude of other tests. FML.

List of things that actually didn't turn out as bad as I thought they would:

1. My life is actually climbing, maybe not rapidly, but I'm for sure moving upwards.
2. Our orchestra wasn't that bad today, and we weren't a hot mess. Winning.

List of things that I still think will suck:
1. Midterm midterm midterm. I finally got an A in AP Gov and I can slowly see it spiraling downwards. Oh dear.

I've reached a solution, though. I'm going to focus on the good things that happen this week.

Today, for instance, was a spectacular day.

For starters, it was late start Tuesday, which means I got to sleep in, so I wasn't half as cranky in the morning as I usually am. On top of that, my classes weren't that difficult today, which was a god-given miracle in itself (did I actually get an A on my government test? Whaaaaa'?). To further add on to things, I only worked for like a half hour because they didn't need me, and then I got to enjoy making music with the school orchestra and go with friends to get coffee afterwards.

Today was pretty much stellar, and at this point (which is about 10:15 at night, so maybe I'm just suffering from sleep deprivation, because this is late for me on a weekend) I'd be hard pressed to let anything ruin it, so I'm going to tackle these next three days head on and make the best of it, and kick this mid-term in the butt. Cheers to optimism.


My friend Jessyka Vernickas is doing a Zombie Walk, here are some details.

Date: October 27th
Time: 7 - 9 on the track at Liberty High School

Cost is three dollars to get in OR a donation of three non-perishable foods. The money will be donated to the Special Olympics, and the food will be donated to Harvesters. 

This is a really good cause, and I think it would be super awesome if we could get as many people to participate and donate as possible. If you have any questions, I would talk to Jessyka, because this is her project. 

Tyler, out.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Things I hate or don't understand about high school...

Here's the infamous list I told a lot of people I was creating.

A major thank you to my table in study hall, who helped me compose this.

If you liked this, could relate to it, or want to see more things about it, I highly suggest you follow @LibertyProblems on Twitter. I have no clue who it actually is, but they're freaking hilarious, yet brutally honest. Just like this list.

Now I present to you the list:

1.       The kids with rolling backpacks. It takes up way too much space in the hallways and it’s really tacky. Let’s grow up.
2.       The kids that full on SPRINT to class. You have time. I know you do because you don’t sit in the commons. I sit in the commons on occasion and I can still walk to class. Slowly.
3.       Kids that drop the f-bomb or sound illiterate because they think it’s cool. It’s obnoxious.
4.       Back street boy look alikes. Put away your “diamond” ear studs and skinny jeans unless you’re gay (possible) or possess the reproductive organs of a female (also possible?).
5.       Stress. Yeah.
6.       Crappy teachers. I will not name names but I know they exist.
7.       It seems like we pass more STD’s to each other than compliments. Problem? Yes.
8.       The mean kids that stand in front of your locker. I just want my Propel, don’t give me that look.
9.       School in general.
10.   Oh honey, you do NOT look good in a thong. Buy a belt.
11.   School ID’s. It’s not like anybody wears them anyways, but please don’t EAT yours.
12.   Having people who ask “how do you find the perimeter of a square?” in math. Yeah, true story.
13.   You wore steel toe boots to school? Is that even comfortable?
14.   Athletic shorts and polo shirts do not match. Ever.
15.   People who can’t deal with sarcasm. Maybe you should be home schooled then.
16.   Kids that laugh at the inside jokes of other people… even though they clearly don’t get them.
17.   The sophomores (and non-sophomores) that stand in the middle of the hall way. MOVE.
18.   “I’m so smart” syndrome. There’s a time and a place. This isn’t the time or place.
19.   Being the middle man or awkward third wheel. It’s always me. Always.
20.   People that come to school stoned or drunk. You got high at 7 in the morning?
21.   Girls (and some guys) who try too hard to be hot and then fish for compliments. Stop.
22.   There’s a difference between there, their and they’re. Look it up.
23.   You seem to have lost your pants, because all I see you wearing is leggings.
24.   I don’t want to hear your music if you have headphones in.
25.   Waking up so early. Yuck.
26.   Chain statuses. We get it, you all hate cancer. Do something about it because Ctrl + V isn’t nearly as helpful as Relay for Life.
27.   The announcements. I’m sorry, what did you just say?
28.   Using the intercom to make announcements during passing period. Nobody is paying attention to you, I promise.
29.   “I’m such a stud” complex. No… you’re not. I swear.
30.   The sophomore girls look the same. Tall, skinny, tan and blonde. Yay conformity.
31.   When walking in the hallway, common courtesy says to stay on the right side.
32.   Please don’t eat your boyfriends face. Cannibalism is frowned upon in society.
33.    The sophomores that can’t drive.
34.   People in love with their jobs. You really like smiling at rude people that much?
35.   When people argue about things like: being gay, religion, etc. Chances are if the other person is willing to argue with you about it then they aren’t going to change their opinion on the subject.
36.   Girls with promise rings who clearly aren’t virgins.
37.   People who complain about their figure while they stand in line at the snack bar.
38.   The water fountains are probably infested with STD’s.
39.   There are no dividers between the bathroom urinals.
40.   Smart is the new skinny. I don’t see why it’s such a big deal, but I’m sick of girls complaining about it.
41.   People who complain about the new Facebook.
42.   One word replies during text conversations.
43.   73x7 1!ng0 (text lingo)
44.   Holding conversations while going to the bathroom. It’s really weird.
45.   I miss every school fight.
46.   Dumb isn’t hot. But if you really are dumb… well that’s unfortunate.
47.   People who walk slow.
48.   Everything here is old. Minus the paint job and painful seats.
49.   Wearing a ton of camo to school. What are you hiding from?
50.   People who tie their shoes in the middle of the hallway.
51.   People who don’t bathe.
52.   People who wear axe/perfume religiously. Especially if they think it takes the place of bathing. Axe + body odor = axe + body odor. In other words: WE STILL SMELL YOUR BODY ODOR.
53.   When people rap the weather.
54.   People that chew with their mouth open.
55.   Relationship drama. You’re not Ronnie and Sam. Break up.
56.   Girls who get a fake bake. Unless you’re the byproduct of Snooki and an Oompa-Loompa, you don’t need to be that shade of orange. You look like a Spicy Nacho Dorito.
57.   Bathroom doors that don’t lock… that’s a bad situation.
58.   When people step on your heals in the hallway.
59.   Uggs and short shorts. Your feet are cold but your thighs are hot? What?
60.   People that graduate early and constantly call themselves “seniors.” WE GET IT.
61.   The couples that wear matching clothes. That’s creepy.
62.   People that act like they are married. That’s freaking obnoxious.
63.   Couples that are married on Facebook. You’re not ACTUALLY MARRIED.
64.   Kids who say the test “wasn’t that hard” and then you get a C.
65.   I will never apply the things I learn in math unless I’m a math teacher. Simple addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division should be just fine.

Monday, October 10, 2011

I'm new to blogging... cut me some slack

Name: Tyler
Hobbies: Music... Friends... that's it.
Mission: To entertain you all with blog posts that absolutely OOZE with sarcasm (that wasn't sarcasm, bee-tee-dubs). If you don't like it, well jokes on you because you've already read some of it.

So... here goes.

I am 100%, without a doubt, positive that I have NEVER blogged before. I'm telling myself that it's perfectly ok though, because I had to start somewhere, sometime, and somehow, and now is better than never. So I hope to God, Buddha, the big bang theory, or whatever, that you decide to follow along with these posts. I'm also 100%, without a doubt, positive that I will do my absolute best to make these blogs as attention getting as I can. I'm not sure what a blog is supposed to look like, or if it even has a set of guidelines when it comes to structure, but I plan to play it by ear.

In this blog you can expect me to do the following (and more):

- Rant (please note there will be a LOT of ranting, because I am, in case you hadn't guessed it, a teenager)
- Review (movies, products, whatever)
- Talk about my day
- Share interesting experiences (I go to high school, there will be plenty of those, honest to god)
- Etc. etc. ad astra ad infinitum forever and ever amen.

Let me say that I am warning you now: My life is somewhat of a roller coaster. The definition of a roller coaster (my personal definition, that is): A fun filled ride with ups and downs that sometimes makes you want to vomit.

So hang on tight, and enjoy the ride.