Thursday, August 9, 2012

Friendships Are Mutual You Derp...

WARNING: This is one of my "I'm slightly pissed off so I figured I'd blog about it to release some frustration" blogs. So if you don't want to read anything like that... you should probably close this tab now.

I have a lot of pet peeves. Calling me by my last name is a pet peeve of mine. Being a hypocrite is a pet peeve of mine. Not following through on promises you make is a pet peeve of mine (it's a policy of mine to automatically be annoyed by any and all politicians).

The one pet peeve of mine I wanted to talk about, though, is people who try and successfully pull off what I like to call "one sided friendships." I think that it's within the realm of possibility that I could write a book on how much one sided friendships make my blood boil. If I could rate it on a scale of 1-10 for how much they make me mad, I'd rate them at a 19398293. True story, bro. If one sided friendships were a person, they'd be the ugly red-headed step child that nobody ever really wanted. If they were a day they'd be Mondays. Specifically Monday mornings. FACT: Mondays are notorious for being the day that heart attacks most frequent. Does that put it into perspective for you? I really hate one sided friendships. Like... if I could turn them into a person I would probably murder that person. But I wouldn't get in trouble. It would be labeled as justifiable homicide.

Maybe I'm just going about life all wrong, but I seem to encounter one sided friendships a lot. Usually I end them before they have the chance to begin. However I'm a firm believer that if you are going to be "friends" with someone, the feeling should be mutual. As in both of you should probably put in an effort to be friends. That's where the term "one sided" comes into account.

I will admit I am probably guilty at being the bad friend in a one sided friendship. A lot. This is me giving you permission to call me out on it. It is absolutely not fair to anyone to be in this situation.

However I also know that I have been and still am the person that is putting the effort into a one sided friendship. It freaking sucks. It's kind of like you'd jump in front of a bullet for that person without hesitation. But if it came down to them jumping in front of a bullet for YOU, you're not entirely sure they'd do it. If you're in that situation...

Signs you're the victim of a one sided friendship:

- You always have to start the conversation.
- If you want to hang out with that person, YOU have to ask THEM to hang out. They never ask you to hang out.
- You always seem to be giving the effort to maintain the relationship. The amount of effort put forth by the other person: goose egg.

If this applies to you, I'm sorry. Together we can find a cure. If you just realized that you're the douche bag in a one sided friendship... freaking fix it or stop leading that person on. Friendships aren't a light switch you can just flip on and off. If you were real friends, you'd go through some tough shit together. Not bail out when it gets tough, and them come waltzing back when the tough part is over.

In regards to the other end of my one sided friendship... 1. I hope you know who you are. 2. I hope you're reading this. 3. If you are reading this, we need to talk. 4. If you're not sure if it's about you, please ask. Because I do want to talk to you about it. Badly. To the point that it kinda hurts.

That's all.


Sunday, August 5, 2012

Life: A Race... With Hurdles... Crap...

So I didn't really expect to learn another life lesson while I was on my float trip. So guess what... I learned a life lesson. Crazy how that works, right? Right. You go on a float trip with two of your best friends and you expect to have fun and relax and life is like: "Lol, no, it's time to have another epiphany Tyler." It's a conspiracy. I swear it is. I really did have fun on the float trip, though. And this is me saying "thank you" to my friends who decided to deal with me for a whole weekend in the middle of Nowhereville, Missouri. In an empty raft, on an empty and slow moving river. The best part, though, is when the radio called us beautiful and told us we have that one thing that shot them out of the sky. OH! And if you need a good movie to watch, go watch The Client. It's an older film, but it's SO GOOD. I'm getting off topic, though. I could write a book about how the float trip was pretty much perfect in every way.


Most of you that know me know that I tend to think a lot. A lot of thinking leads to over thinking and in my case over thinking is bad news because 99% of the time those thoughts aren't what I'd like to call "balls of sunshine and happiness." Not even close. Well... bad habits die hard. However, this time my over thinking allowed me to arrive at another life conclusion:

Life is going to throw you a TON of shit. It's like you're running a race at a track meet, and the hurdles are the difficulties life sets in front of you. Now, you may be a great hurdle racing person, but for nonathletic kids like me, the odds are you tried to jump the hurdle and you face planted. Hard.

Now in this race that I like to refer to as "life," everyone face plants at some point. I don't care how good at running or how Kenyan you are. You're gonna face plant. An example of a "life hurdle" is over thinking. For some reason, I was blessed (cursed, but I'm trying to sound grateful) with the horrid fact that I over think EVERYTHING. Boom. Face plant. Times sixty-seven.

The fact that you're going to face plant and trip over a few hurdles is inevitable. How you deal with tripping over that hurdle is key, though. You can sit there and give up. That'd be the easy way out. Whine and complain because the big bad hurdle got in your way. Go run a different race, an easier, one without hurdles. Where's the sense of accomplishment when you finish though? You could also just lay in the middle of the track and become another obstacle others have to watch out for while they run their race. I did that. I hate to admit it, but I did. I still do on occasion.

OR you can get back up and keep running. Find some motivation. Give yourself a reason to keep running that race.

My reason is because every time I fell down, someone cared enough to help me back up. Especially here recently. I know I talk about them a lot, but I have four of the best friends you could ever have. EVER. Since I started my junior year of high school at least one of them has been there to help me up every time I fell down. Every time.

I have the friend who shares my love for music. We can fan boy/girl hard over classical music and Sarah Chang together. Nobody else understands our love for classical string music quite like the other does. But on top of that I can still count on her to have my back and exchange fears of upcoming chair auditions (THOSE ARE THIS MONTH, BY THE WAY), or contest, or other non-music related things. So whoever said a guy and a girl can't be best friends... you are an idiot... and I'm guessing you lived with your mom until you were 30. At least. So HA.

Then there's the friend who I can be totally loud and obnoxious with and we don't judge each other. We usually just try and be louder than the other person. Whether we're quoting Spongebob, Mean Girls, or talking about how we're going to be ready for the Zombie Apocalypse, it's just so easy for us to have fun around each other. We were probably related in a past life. Not siblings... we get along too well to be siblings. Close cousins is probably accurate.

I have to group these last two together. They're like the brothers I always wanted... but it would be unfair to any one set of parents to have the responsibility of watching after all 3 of us for any extended period of time that lasts more than 3 days. "LET'S GO ON A NATURE WALK, GUYS!" We then promptly get chased by what sounded to be like a rather massive and vicious dog. I don't actually know what the dog looked like. It was dark and I was hauling ass in the opposite direction. These two remind me, though, that I don't have to live life being so wound up and stressed all the time. They do a very good job of just mellowing me out. It's like an emotional massage... I just get to relax. And when I do start over thinking stuff they kindly tell me that I'm being an idiot and I need to just stop thinking for a little bit.

See, I never said you had to run your race alone. I definitely would have given up a long time again if these people hadn't cared enough to tell me to get back up and get my butt in gear. They serve as my motivation to keep running. And if I trip over another hurdle, they'll help me up again. Of course, as friends they're entitled to laugh at the fact that I fell down first. That's how it works.

Life, in its own way, is a race. There is no set distance. You just run. Hurdles are a part of the race. I hope you jump over most of them and they turn you into a better person with killer calf muscles. Some of them are going to pop up unexpectedly and knock you down though.  The stadium is jam packed with people. Some of them would love nothing more than to watch you fail. Why would you give them that satisfaction? You will fall down. People will be there to see it. I hope you have the motivation to get back up, though. Keep running, so that way when you do finish the race, you can look back at everything you accomplished and be happy with the race you ran. The only person you're competing with in this race is yourself.

How can you lose?

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Chicken, Double Standards, and a Whole Lot of Stupid...

Normally I'd take a stance on this issue that sides with the gay rights activists. I'm firmly against discrimination because of things like sexual orientation, race, religion, gender, etc.

Let me just say, though, that I think the people that are totally flipping shit against Chik Fil A are way out of line. They've created a double standard.

From what I've read and heard, it sounds to me like all the owner of this chicken restaurant did was state that he is against gay marriage (and keep in mind, the dude IS a Christian, so yeah, there's a good chance he's against gay marriage. It's in the Bible... you know that book CHRISTIANS READ).

The gay community and their supporters have marched on the WHITE HOUSE. And now they're angry because people are gathering at a CHICKEN RESTAURANT? What?

No, I don't think Chik Fil A needs to be funding anti-gay movements. Not because it's wrong, but because there are better things that the money could go towards. You could help the poor, which is also Christ like, and actually benefits society.

But the fact that people of the gay community and their supporters are throwing a fit over people gathering at Chik Fil A is absolutely stupid and hypocritical. The right to assembly was guaranteed to everyone. So sit your overly righteous selves down, and get over it. Your rights were never taken away by a chicken sandwich. This whole issue was stupid from the beginning, and it needs to stop escalating. Agree to disagree and move on with your lives.

I think if people were actually being discriminate against, I'd be a little more sympathetic. This isn't discrimination though. I'm sure that a gay person could go into Chik Fil A and still BUY some chicken nuggets. And if Chik Fil A is like "Nah, dude. You can't have any nuggets." Take it up in court, not on my Twitter feed.

This is an incredibly pissed JewFro. Stay in school.