Thursday, January 3, 2013

The Grumpy Old Troll Who Lived Under a Bridge...

Let me just say that it's 1:30 in the morning and I have no intention of going to sleep anytime soon. I don't know why... I'm just not sleepy...

Okay that's a lie, I'm really tired. But I can't sleep... so hopefully I'll bore myself with writing and fall asleep. Except I'm sitting at the bar in my basement (18 years sober! Ba dum tss!) so sleeping wouldn't be that comfortable. Just don't blame me if this post doesn't make any sense... blame... biology... or something.

Recent events have made me do a lot of soul searching these last few days (am I the only person who seems to do a lot of soul searching?). And by "soul searching" I really just mean "critical thinking while I'm taking a shower." I hope I'm not the only one that does that. In my head I'm like "time to do some deep thinking" but everyone around me hears "I'm going to take a shower." Maybe it's the steam. Anyways, one thing I've concluded is that the new computer that I'm currently writing this on freaking flies. It's so much faster than the little brick I was writing on earlier.

The other conclusion I arrived at is that it seems that most of my problems derive from poor communication and misunderstanding. Seem a little obvious? That's what makes it so frustrating. Such a simple concept should be easy to avoid, right? So what makes it so common? So difficult? Well if you were expecting some philosophical and incredibly wise answer from me you're out of luck. I have no idea. I even asked Google, but a Google search of "why is misunderstanding so common" resulted in "Common Misunderstandings of Buddhism." Correct me if I'm wrong, but something tells me that this result won't aid me in my endeavors to answer my question.

This past week, though, has been infested with misunderstanding after misunderstanding. Whether it's a misunderstanding that derived from orthodontic work (don't ask) or a misunderstanding that derived from the fact that I'm simply a bit of a drama king (I don't need to emasculate myself any further, I'm a non-athletic musician), it seemed that some bit of information was always being misunderstood or left out and that always led to someone getting upset.

 If you asked me "Why?" I'd probably respond with "Hell if I know." What I do know is that these misunderstandings have taken a toll on my mood. This break I started out as that kid sitting atop Cloud 9 looking down on the world feeling absolutely 100% invincible. Nothing could bring me down simply because the ones that tried weren't capable of changing my mood and the ones that could change my mood were simply nice enough to elevate me and wanted to see me happy.

For a time.

You see, occasionally I'm known to grind on the nerves of people and push the envelope just a little too far. I started off as the kid riding Cloud 9 but then I quickly took a free fall and metamorphosed into the grumpy old troll who lives under a bridge. It's true that in the beginning the people who had the ability to knock me out of my happy place didn't do so simply because they were my friends. When they were happy I was happy. However, like a snake, they would attack when provoked. Stupidly enough I was the dumb ass who thought "heh... let's poke it with a stick." Needless to say, I got bit. What's even more unfortunate is that the snake was venomous. Whoops.

Now they say when you get bit by a snake you're supposed to suck the venom out. So that's what I'm going to do. The process takes time, though. With time I hope to be able to climb out from under my bridge, transform back into a being that doesn't resemble a grumpy old troll, and hopefully be on friendly terms with all of the venomous snakes again. Here's hoping.

Totally unrelated side-note: I just watched Marcel the Shell with Shoes On. This is me attempting to use the powers of subliminal messaging. Now I'll just go be direct: Go watch it on YouTube. I don't know why I thought it was funny because I'm pretty sure it's one of those videos that girls like to watch and be like "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's so cute!" Okay, women, guess what? I watched an interview with the voice actor for Marcel the Shell (sometimes I just get bored and watch videos on YouTube... judge me). 1. The voice actor is a chick. 2. She's weird. So there. However, Marcel the Shell With Shoes On did say something rather meaningful. At the end of the second video Marcel asks the cameraman...

"Guess why I smile a lot."

To which the cameraman replies with a rather guess-able "Why?"

"Uhhh... cause it's worth it."

You go, Marcel the Shell With Shoes On... you go.

If you've been reading my posts up until now then you deserve a huge "thank you." I don't really write to entertain people, I write to organize the jumble of thoughts that seems to consistently be bouncing around inside my head. Not to brag, but I was given the gift/curse of being able to retain a larger amount of information than normal (just never information that I seem to need to know for tests in school... funny how the world works), and this is kind of how I relieve myself of some thoughts.

If there's a topic that you thing I should be aware of or if you'd like to see me write about, feel free to comment on the Facebook post containing the link to this blog. If we're not friends on Facebook then I have absolutely no idea how you stumbled across this blog... and that's a little concerning.

Well it's now 2:05 AM and I should probably get some sleep, lest my whole biological clock gets turned around just in time to go back to school. That would be grand, wouldn't it?

No, it wouldn't.