Saturday, November 15, 2014

I Am and I Am Not...

College is weird.
Old people say that these are supposed to be the greatest years of your life. But how could this be better than high school?
Totally kidding. High school was, and always will be, a shit show.

But there are some things that don't change when you transition from high school to college. Yes, you might live on your own. Yes, you actually have to pay tuition. No, you don't have to ask to go to the bathroom in class (a real perk, considering I had to ask permission to go pee in high school when I was a legal adult).

None of these things change the fact that, to some degree, people in college expect you to be something and that you will be labeled. You will be labeled based on what you're involved in, what your major is, who you hang out with, and a million other things.

You might be thinking "Tyler you go to a school with a huge population. How can all of those people label you?" They don't. The people that know you label you. They do it without even knowing it. They label you based on what you are and what you are not. Everything that you do defines you in one way or another. Everything you don't do defines you. What you are and what you are not in some way dictates how people look at you.

I am not the guy that adheres to the "frat" way of dressing (they don't like cargo shorts and I'm not in a frat so I never understood why this was ever an issue).
I am not the guy who goes out and gets shit face wasted because it's "fun" (throwing up is not fun).
I am not the guy who gets invited to go out and party on the weekends (I'm usually at work).
Not the guy that someone would make their first choice to ask to formal (it's probably because I wear cargo shorts).
Not the best looking.
Not the nicest.
Not the funniest.
Not the most fun to be around
Not the smartest.
Not the most talented.
For sure not the most athletic (not even close).
Not the first person to get invited somewhere to do something.
Not the one that adheres to the status quo.
Not the one who has their life together.
Not the one that gets noticed.

I will always be the guy that has to work to pay his own way (it's character building).
I will always be the guy that has a major with course work that is under-appreciated.
I am the guy that says honest things that can come off as harsh.
I am the guy that sits in his room and ignores the world.
I will always be the depressed guy.
I will always be the guy that needs people.
I will always be the guy who has friends that are way better than he is.
I will always be the guy that is not afraid to speak his mind.
I will always be the guy that works pretty damn hard to be successful.
I will always be the guy that stands up for his friends.
I will always be the guy that remains loyal to the people that don't necessarily deserve it.
I will always be the guy that people can come to when they need help, even if they don't come. They can.
I will always be the guy that can forget about his problems when someone else has problems to deal with. Even if their problems dwarf in comparison to mine.
I will always be that guy.

And I couldn't tell you what made me that way. I don't know if it's genetic or if society molded me into it or if I molded myself. I don't know. I doubt I'll ever know.

The fact of the matter is that this is how I am perceived by some of the people that know me and it doesn't matter if that's how I want it to be or not. It is.

It simply is.

Today I found on tumblr:

Okay, Kurt Vonnegut (whoever the hell you are). I'll see what I can do.