Saturday, November 10, 2012

Can we lower the speed limit...?

There are a lot of things I'll never understand in my lifetime.

I'll never understand why people in school insist on walking right in the middle of the hallway.
I'll never understand how a camera captures a photo.
I'll never understand why the people on the Titanic didn't see that monster ass iceberg. 
I'll never understand how people get those model boats inside of a glass bottle. 
I will NEVER understand how the Kardashians became famous. 
I'll never understand why I'm not a part time model... I mean... let's be real.

I also don't realize why people have this perpetual dislike for high school. I mean I look like a zombie every morning just like everyone else, but I think it's awesome. There's no need to be a diva about it. You can look like a hot mess just like everyone else, dammit. 

 The idea of college scares me shitless. Life is just kind of flying by at this point. 

If my life was a car and I was the person that decided the speed limit, I'd have it set at a comfortable 35. But my life's all like "Nah, bro. Let's go 70." What? NO. That's not what I said. Okay, life, now you're getting a ticket. Too bad you can't write up life and make it pay for tickets and make ridiculous amounts of money. 

I've expressed my fears of going to college to people before... but they always just seem to brush it off and make it sound like it's not a huge deal. What nobody seems to realize is that we're talking about the REST OF OUR LIVES. 

I can't stand the thought of not seeing my friends every day. Why do you think I wake up so early every morning and go to school looking like the living dead? It's not because I love learning. I could get home schooled and wake up whenever I damn well pleased if I had any love whatsoever for textbooks and homework. However, being a normal human being, I find juggling 7 classes a day the tiniest bit tedious. 

I go to school to see people. To interact with friends and to laugh and actually have a bit of a good time. I would think it would be perfectly rational to maybe worry about missing that once we've walked across that stage and received that diploma. 

But people are like "You'll make new friends in college. It's not a huge deal." The hell it isn't a huge deal. I have worked very hard to get my friends accustomed to my dry and sarcastic personality. I've emotionally bonded with a very small number of people that I've actually grown to really really like being around. And if you're one of those people you should feel pretty proud, because I typically don't like people. 

Nothing pisses me off more than when I express this specific fear and people that I thought I was really good friends with just blow it off. I mean... hi. You've had a major impact on my life in one way or another and I'm telling you "I don't want to not be around you." You blowing it off tells me either A) "Well I just don't want to be around you" B) "Despite the fact that I seem to have made a significant change in your life, you haven't made one in mine and I'll be just fine without you later on in life" or C) "We were never really good friends to begin with, and you shouldn't have let yourself think we were." 

Talk about a downer. I'll admit that I don't get along with a lot of people because a lot of people are annoying and I have the horrible misfortune of being easily annoyed. However, the people who don't annoy me have a very special place in the spot where my heart should be. Sorry for being the tacky "heart on your sleeve" guy but I just needed to get that off my chest. 

It sucks that I can't seem to express with words what some people mean to me. It's also kind of nice to know that there are people that I am close enough to to be able to be in that situation. 

I'm hoping that this post will open some people's eyes a little more. 

For some of my favorite people, whom I care about more than anything in the world, there's a good chance our time together might be limited, depending on where our separate lives take us. 

I can't make life follow a speed limit. It's going to go by as fast as it chooses to. I hope we can appreciate the time before it passes. 

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