When I Was 18...

My list of talents isn't lengthy. I excel in a few areas, average in more, and am mediocre in most (see sports, cooking, and playing well with strangers).

That being said, I am rather good at being an insufferable know-it-all. Sorry about that. Well... kind of. I'm actually not sorry at all (I'm also really good at being abrasive and honest).

That being said I also have a decent memory and I remember quite well what I was experiencing a year ago. I was getting ready to move out of my parent's house and into a dorm room in Columbia so I could start my journey as a Tiger at the University of Missouri (which was a good decision so HA mom).

So for all of you freaking out because you're about to start college, I would like to tell you something: STOP. I have a few things I would like to tell you that I was not informed of when I was about to start the next chapter of my life.

1. A high school diploma is not a ticket that magically tells you what the rest of your life will look like. That's the beauty of life. Nothing is set in stone. Part of it is terrifying. You have absolutely no idea what will happen to you tomorrow. Or the next day. There are too many variables in life that could change what will/should happen. Here's the good news: YOU are one of those variables and YOU have the power to change things in your life that you aren't happy with.

2. Corollary to above: You don't have to have a huge plan for your life if you don't want to. There's nothing wrong with just going with the flow and letting life take you wherever it is you go. This is not an excuse to avoid responsibility though.

3. There's a solid chance you and of your high school friends aren't going to talk to each other daily. Mostly because you won't go to school with all of them and see them almost everyday anymore.  That is okay. Do not go to a school because your friend is going there. I kind of sort of did that a little bit and by some miracle ended up thriving at my school regardless. You need to go to a school that is good for you. If your high school friends mean that much to you then you will stay in touch with each other. I promise.

4. There is no rush to find your future spouse at all. Fate has a weird way of bringing the people you need to you when you need them. That applies to significant others, best friends, etc. DO NOT freak out if you don't find the love of your life on move-in day or any time after that. Make friends and educate yourself. You have years ahead of you.

5. Karma is real. It has ways of rewarding your morality and kick your ass when you forget about morality. This does not mean that karma should mean your motivation behind being a good person. Be a good person because it betters you and the world around you.

6. Don't let freshmen 15 prevention get in the way of you improving your mental and emotional being. Being physically healthy is important, I won't deny it. It doesn't have to interfere with your mental health though. Free time in college can be scarce and you can easily give up the luxuries of reading. Read things that don't have to do with your school work. Don't forget to expand your mind.

7. Adults are smart because they have experience and experience is one hell of a teacher.

8. You're not invincible. I can't stress this enough. Stupid decisions can have permanent repercussions. College is a time to be a little crazy but you have to be smart about it. Don't let the best days of your life ruin the rest of your life.

9. Selfish people suck. Live a life that betters the lives of other people. It's very gratifying.

10. Your parents are smart people but you know you better than anyone else. If I had listened to my parents at one point (and they had my best interests in mind) I would have ended up at a school studying something I wasn't completely in love with. You know what is best for you.

11. Trust your gut. If something seems sketchy that's because it is sketchy.

12. It's so easy to only live in the moment. Despite the fact that you don't have to have a plan mapped out for your life you should think about the future when making decisions.

13. Pride is a supreme bitch. Don't let it knock you down and keep you there. "Modest is hottest." That may not apply here.

14. Never take for granted the friend that goes out of their way to brighten your day or help you. Selfless friends are so hard to come by and often times they won't be walked over. If you forget about them until you need them they will move on and the only person that will be hurt by it is you.

15. The meaning of life is different for everyone. To find it you need to do what gives you meaning.

College is fun. Life after high school is fruitful if you take the necessary steps to nurture it.

Today I found on Tumblr:

Preach.

A Handful of Things That Could Make Your Freshman Year Easier...

So a lot of y'all are about to start college in a month.

That's exciting. So in honor of the occasion I thought I'd write a little somethin' for you guys. So I present to you a handful of things I wish I had known during my freshman year of college that would have made it way easier.

1. All you can eat in a dining hall doesn't mean you should eat it all. The Freshman 15 (Mizzou 22) is real and it's harder to get rid of than a crazy stalker / ex-girlfriend (arguably synonymous).

2. Nap time is a gift from Jesus Himself and shall not be ignored.

3. All nighters are never a good idea no matter how little you have studied. A lot of memory retention is done while you sleep.

4. Coming back to your room being really drunk and loud is going to piss off your roommate.

5. So apologize when you inevitably do it.

6. Drink orange juice or some other vitamin C rich thingy. Dorm rooms are cesspools.

7. If you don't wear flip flops in the shower you're an idiot. Those things are gross.

8. Puff puff pass.

9. Just kidding.

10. Don't do drugs they are bad.

11. You're in college now and professors don't hand out passes like your high school teachers did.

12. Your high school teachers tried really hard to make you pass for the sake of your job.

13. Professors in a lecture hall really don't care if you pass.

14. Lecture hall classes suck.

15. Go to office hours. Professors are more likely to give you a little boost if they know you and like you.

16. Bring a mattress pad. There's no way your mattress is going to be comfortable without aid.

17. Caffeine is fantastic.

18. Ibuprofen and duct tape can fix anything.

19. You're gonna lose contact with some of your high school friends.

20. You're gonna make some really awesome friends.

21. You and your roommate are either going to be great friends or hate each other by the time the year is over.

22. You're not there to get married. You're there to get educated. Being single is OKAY. Say it with me. OOOOOOOOKAAAAAAAYYYYYYY.

23. Alcohol is okay. Being blackout drunk is not okay. Being hungover sucks.

24. Talk to your givers of life (parents). They worry about you and all the stupid decisions you're probably making.

25. Your mom is not going to just magically be unsad when she leaves after helping you move in. That takes months. Buy tissues in bulk.

26. Study. For the love of God you actually have to study in college. Learn how to study or you'll metaphorically die.

27. Most everyone changes their major. It happens.

28. Upper class-men are valuable friends and allies. They just know, man. So feed them with your meal swipes. Mutualistic relationships are great.

29. Unless you plan on going to grad school your GPA isn't a huge deal. If you plan on going to grad school your GPA is a big freaking deal. Plan accordingly.

30. Sweat pants are okay. Love them. Wear them.

31. Know when you need to dress up and know how to dress up.

32. If something makes you unhappy cut it out of your life.

33. Ditching class is super easy. Especially if the teacher doesn't take attendance. Know when it's the right time and the wrong time.

34. A lecture on a topic you know really well is the "right time."

35. Exam day is the "wrong time."

36. Life begins when you step out of your comfort zone. So step out of it and start living.

37. Anything that starts with "Hey everyone! Watch this!" is followed by a stupid decision. So if you hear it get your phone out and start filming.


Today I found on Tumblr:

True.

The Power Is My Own...

I'm a very luck guy. I have to consistently remind myself of this opinion (fact?) because I am inherently a realist (some call it a "pessimist" but to each his or her own). To quote a song title from my favorite band, "For a Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic." Ha. Moving on.

I've spent the better part of a month debating on whether or not I should write this post because, despite the fact that I try to keep what I write to be as "real world" as possible some things are just a little too real.

Don't go jumping to conclusions, my life is still on the mediocre side of lucrative when it comes to excitement.

My life has always been rather stressful. One time during my senior year of high school I took a "stress test" (whatever the hell that is) and the test stated that any score over 150 was considered "unhealthy."

I scored (scored is actually a rather disgustingly ironic word in this instance because it definitely didn't lead to any victories) over 450. Why I've never been found in the fetal position on my bed rambling incoherent words at some point in the last few years is beyond me.

Stress sucks. I'm assuming everyone can attest to that (granted I can't actually speak for everyone, hence the assumption). Sometimes you don't always handle your stress in the best ways.

Sometimes stress builds and builds and keeps building until it towers over you and surrounds you. It buries you and it suffocates you. It knocks you down and keeps you there with no intention of letting you get back up. Stress can be overwhelming and debilitating.

I have to admit that in my earlier years of high school I didn't cope with stress well. I was sick a lot and missed a lot of school and just really wasn't happy at all. For a time it made me sad, and then I became depressed, and then after a while I was just numb. Numb to the world and to the people around me and to all the things that I loved. How I dealt with that period of my life is now a non-issue. I've finally told the people I trust about it and a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

That ended my depression and numbness for a time. I was generally pretty happy. From the summer before my senior year all the way to the end of my first semester of college I was a pretty happy dude. Nothing to complain about really (except for student loans and homework of course). After a while I thought I was pretty much invincible.

Nobody is invincible.

I'm going to quote somebody that said something really wise: "Just because someone with depression has a better day doesn't mean that person got better. The day is still grey but without any rain."

Guess who said that wise piece. Go ahead and guess.

Your answer was wrong if you didn't guess Miley Cyrus. Crazy, right? She's not just a wrecking ball riding, sledge hammer swinging, tongue sticker-outer, singer that at one point was the icon of many childhoods.

Once my second semester started I had a lot of grey days and way too many rainy days. Thankfully I got to throw a handful of blue days and sunshine in there.

I couldn't possibly tell you what the cause of this second bout of non-happiness. But it was real and it sucked. I'm still not 100% sure that I'm over it yet. There have been some days this summer where I just feel low.

In contrast there have been some days this summer where I feel like I'm standing on top of the world. I've recently been going through one of my "on top of the world" phases and while the top of that mountain has been reached I'm still up high and feeling good.

It was during this expedition that I had an epiphany: Stress comes in two types. There is the stress that you can control and there is the stress that you can't control.

They have one thing in common: Both only affect you in a way that you let them. If you let either type of stress beat the crap out of you then you're going to get the crap beat out of you. If you do something to alleviate stress in a positive way then you're going to be much happier.

The power to deal with my stress is my own. I can work to prevent the stress that I can control and deal with the things I can't prevent in a positive way. I can choose to react to stress out of my control in a positive way.

Recently I've been trying to improve my physical health and I've noticed that physical health goes a long way in bettering your mental and emotional well being. While I have no aspirations to look like The Incredible Hulk (if my skin turns green I'll most definitely be going to see a doctor) I think I'm starting to agree with the "look good feel good philosophy."

Another thing I've been doing is just trying to make every day feel like some form of progress. I want to live every day so that when I go to bed at night I can reflect on my day and be satisfied with what I've accomplished since I work up that morning.

Your view on life really can make an impact on how you live your life.

The idea that I have the power to handle my stress how I want is great. I like being in control of myself (and, admittedly, the world around me when possible). I have a lot of work to do and a long ways to go, but I'm proud of my progress so far.

Today I found on Tumblr:

Well that explains a lot.

Sun of Ink...

I hate pain in all forms. Emotional (The Fault in Our Stars), mental (doing math homework), physical (doing any kind of exercise) and any combination of the three (getting out of bed).

So why people get tattoos has been a mystery that I've contemplated for a long time. A long time being how long it took me to decide to write this post.

Sure some of them look cool.

Some of them look really stupid (pray for this person hard before you go to bed).

Some of them are just really disgusting.

My apologies for that one. I couldn't resist.

Now I've been 18 for almost two years (ha), which means I can do what I want (as long as my mom says it's okay because I live under her roof right now) and I could go out and get tatted up from the top of my head all the way down to the floor if I so desired. That's what credit cards and student loan money is used for (double ha), but I don't really see the point.

I'm a man of symbolism and in some ways getting something permanently stabbed into your body for the whole world to see (although if you're that last one you should probably wear high-waisted pants and long shirts from now until the end of time) might be considered one of the ultimate acts of symbolism.

And for that I respect tattoo bearers (and I respect their pain tolerance because there is no chance in hell that I'm letting a stranger stab me repeatedly so I can have something drawn onto my body; I would much rather prefer to just draw it on myself with a ballpoint pen).

If I had to get a tattoo though I think I'd get a tattoo of a sun. There's so much symbolism in the sun. It's a source of life and radiance. I too want to be a source of life and radiance for those around me. If the sun was a symbol of sarcasm I think I'd go out to a tattoo parlor right now and just get it all over my whole body, so let's thank our lucky stars (pun completely intended) that this isn't the case.

The sun is a wonderful thing. Without it we'd all probably die and it's a huge ball of fire. That's pretty cool.

The sun provides light, without which we can't see. The sun is clarity. To me it represents clarity of thought and a clear sense of morality. It is a constant reminder for me to do what is right.

The sun is a constant reminder to be happy and look at the bright side of life, because no matter how bad your day was today the sun is still going to rise tomorrow. Even if it's overcast or storming and you can't see it the sun is there, kind of life the weight I gained from college.

I like the idea of keeping that symbol with me wherever I go.

The idea just resonates in me.

So I guess I'll go find my ballpoint pen.


This is what I found on Tumblr today!

I can relate to this so much. I remember EVERYTHING. That conversation where told me your blood type in passing and then we completely changed the subject?

I remember.

Slow Blinks...

This is a completely 100% whimsical post that serves next to no purpose in society at all. Bar none.

So I just watched this video... about slow blinking. I don't know if you know what in God's name I'm talking about.

Slow blinking: That thing you do when someone says something really dumb or annoying and you just kind of give them a look that resembles this:


It has come to my attention that I do this ALL THE TIME. And I'm not sure if it's because of my lower tolerance for people or people's low capacity for basic functioning.

It has also come to my attention that the above GIF (pronounced either gif or jif I'm not sure at all) is mildly creepy and/or awkward. Sorry.

There's a lot of things that can spark this reaction:

Trips to Wal-Mart
90% of the people in my geometry class my sophomore year of high school (I was asked how to find the perimeter of a square... insert slow blink)
Customers at work
Most walks through Mizzou's Greek Town on a Friday night
My current algebra teacher
High school in general
Liberty traffic between the times of 4:30 PM and 6:15 PM
Gas prices
Jayhawks (sorry dad)
Really bad musicians
Jazz music
Celine Dion
My college tuition

The list goes on.

Here's the thing that growing up has made me realize: I can't change the people / things I slow blink at. They are going to do what they do no matter how I decide to react. Does that mean I shouldn't get angry? No. Does that mean I should never be annoyed? No.

I once read a quote that said "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Some people say Buddha said it. Some people say Buddha didn't say it. I don't know what to believe anymore.

Anger is a perfectly natural emotion that everybody experiences. Holding onto it is unhealthy. As a very famous Disney movie song once said "Let it go."

So yeah... that's kind of all I wanted to write about. It's my new initiative for myself and it can be an initiative for you too if you want. Or you can be cranky and bitter. It's whatever floats your boat, really.


Oh! I'm also going to start adding something new to every one of my posts. At the end of each post I'm going to post something that I read on the blogging website "Tumblr." If you're under the age of 30 I'm sure you've heard of it. There's not necessarily a theme involved. It can just be something I read that I found cool or funny. Or disgusting. Whatever I want, really. This is my blog.

So yeah.

Today I read on Tumblr:

I slow blinked at this.

The End of a Chapter...

Yesterday I got to go to my home away from home and spend a night with my second family dancing in the streets for one last time.

Fulton. The name holds a special place in my heart because a lot of the person I am today was formed on the campus of William Woods University.

If my life was a novel, my time with MASC would be a very very long chapter. Probably one of the really thick chapters in the middle of the book.

The part of the book where you meet the most pivotal characters and witness the largest amount of character development.

I owe the people of MASC a lot. I went to camp as a camper in 2012. A junior counselor in 2013. And now, most recently, a visiting alum in 2014. In the scheme of things, it may seem that two years is a very short amount of time.

But if you change perspective you can see that two years is 730 days. It's also 17,520 hours. A lot can happen in an hour. A person can learn a lot about themselves in a day.

By the grace of fate I have gotten to spend a vast number of days amongst many very influential people that have played some type of role in shaping me into the person I am today.

I don't think any groups have played a bigger part in my personal growth than 2012 Kouncil K (no, it's spelled correctly actually), 2013 Council E and the 2013 Junior Counselors.

From Kouncil K I learned that life truly beings when you break out of your comfort zone. During the week I got to spend with Kouncil K I was a cheerleader, chant maker, song writer, speech writer, speech giver, peace keeper, problem solver, leader, and follower... among a plethora of other things. I had to complete tasks that required various amounts of physical activity (something I detest) while working with people that I had known for literally less than 48 hours. It was magical. In Kouncil K I found friends and family. I found a life coach, a best friend, future classmates, and a system of never ending support.

From Council E I learned a very important lesson: Life is wasted if you don't spend your time having fun. These kids never fought... EVER. They were always smiling, laughing, and having a blast. I can tell you right now that when I was in middle school I was not a bundle of laughters and smiles. Middle school was awkward and weird and just not a good time. So I don't know how these dudes are approaching life... but they seem to have the right idea. At first I thought it was kind of odd... I was supposed to be teaching this kids about leadership and Student Council. But I'm 99.99999999% sure I learned more about life from them than they did from me. Keep on rockin' on Council E. You guys are the future movers and shakers of the world.

The 2013 JCs... I'm not super sure where to start. My letter telling me I was selected to be a JC was more than just a ticket to spending another week at the greatest place on planet Earth. It was a ticket to becoming a part of a group of people that make you life until you cry and cry until you laugh and make you feel every emotion possible. That letter was the key to gaining 53 of the goofiest, loudest, greatest, and most supportive friends a dude could ever have. To this day I can still tell you where I was and what I was doing when I figured out I was going to be a part of this family. It will forever be one of the best days of my life. These people have helped me through my lowest of lows and celebrated with me when I was sitting on my highest highs. They taught me that there is nothing in the world that feels better than having a true friend, and I'm lucky enough to have 53 of them.

The MASC of my chapter is ultimately over. For that I'm sad. The good news is that a lot of the people I've met are hopefully going to be recurring characters in my life. For that I'm grateful. I truly don't think there are better people in the world than the friends I've made through student council. So, while this chapter is over, I think a new one is beginning. And I'm sure there are going to be a lot of familiar faces.

The Times Have Changed and We've Grown Up...

So my finals week starts Monday, which means I have two written exams and two performance based exams standing between me and Summer 2014.

That's weird. I'm almost a quarter of the way done with my undergraduate studies.

What's worse is I still have no freaking clue what I'm going to do with my life, and apparently marry rich and/or win the lottery isn't a viable option... so... yeah.

Growing up is a strange experience. I'm in college and I'm expected to make all of these life decisions when a year ago I had to ask an adult for permission to use the bathroom. So society expects you to to mature pretty damn quick, to say the least.

Reflecting back on my freshman year of college I'd say I was rather successful areas and my performance in others was exceptionally mediocre. Grades were decent... first semester. I have an incredible job that brings me absolute joy and that I look forward to going to. I've made some awesome friends that will be around hopefully the rest of my life. Musically I've improved leaps and bounds too. But of course behind every success is failure. However there are parts of college that still confuse me.

I don't understand the allure behind getting plastered. All of my bouts of intoxication (don't act like you're shocked, I go to a state school) end with me hugging people and dancing on tables. From what I can deduce my soul is 17% white girl (the other 83% is taken up by "overly protective / jealous friend, sarcastic asshole, and mild - moderately pretentious musician), which is weird because usually when I interact with your stereotypical white girl I have to suppress an instinctual reaction to roll my eyes and vomit blood... wait no that's my instinctual reaction to dealing with people in general.  

Okay, maybe that last bit was a little harsh, but it's finals week come Monday and I'm stressed. Where was I?

Right. Digressing.

Growing up is weird, and I think I skipped the stage where I am a rebellious college student who sticks it to the man and has no regard for the rules of the system. For example: I spent my Friday night playing Diddy Kong Racing on the Nintendo 64. Yeah. Epitome of bad-assery. But in all seriousness I think I've blossomed into the role of "sarcastic yet concerned caretaker / parental role" rather swimmingly.

The point I'm trying to make is that there's apparently no set stages to growing up. You don't go from apathetic high school student to alcoholic college student to anal adult. Some of us skip the college phase and try to be anal adults in college (we're a dying breed, and if I could graph how many people snickered internally at my use of the word "anal" I would prove it to you). So freshmen year is almost over and for some people it already is.

I come back to Liberty for the summer. Not sure if I'm excited about that because I burned quite a few bridges when I moved to Columbia. Do I regret it? No. They were bridges that never should have been built in the first place. But it goes without saying that when your friends live across the state from you having a social life is difficult at best. Thankfully I have a few road trips scheduled to go see those people throughout the oncoming season on top of hopefully working a lot and making a decent amount of money (or as decent as a college student's savings account can get). And then what happens next?

I move back to Columbia and live in an apartment year round for however long. The future is not defined and I'm mildly paranoid about it. Rent is expensive. Food is expensive. Being alive is expensive.

And that's the harsh reality. Times change. People grow up. People grow apart. I can't say I'm as close to my high school friends now as I was in high school (actually I'm still only mildly close to one of them). And that's okay. People come in and out of your life. The ones that were meant to stick around will stick around. The ones that don't will find their way out the door without you expediting the process. I just hope the people I want to keep around are the ones that are meant to.

Nobody really ever asks to be thrown into the harsh world of adulthood. It just sort of happens. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to live life as a tree. Very little stress. The worst thing that could happen is you get chopped down and turned into a Justin Bieber spiral bound notebook. So even after you're cut down some pre-teen girl is still going to love you.

But I wasn't born as a tree. I was born as a living, breathing, sarcastic human being with a great head of hair. And I'm going to live the life I was given because I only have one (since I wasn't born as a cat). Growing up can suck, but it can be mildly rewarding too.

Interesting.