Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Thank You...

Good God above I have not blogged in what feels like months (because it has been months).
So let's play catch up with my life, real quick.
In about three days I will be halfway done with my undergraduate career which means I am one step closer to being a real adult and I'm not sure if that should be exciting or terrifying or both.
I haven't failed any classes yet, so that's a plus (there's a pun hidden in there if you want to look for it).
I still climb things for a job.
I got a second job as an addiction recovery technician so that's crazy and cool.
I am now in the process of planning a week long service trip to somewhere in the continental United States for this next winter break.
I'm still sarcastic.

Everything is as it should be, so let's digress.

What a semester. What a school year, really. Has it been the best year of my life? Probably not. The worst year? Definitely not.
But there has been a good amount of struggling (what's college without struggling, though).
I'm prone to falling victim to stress, anxiety, and over-thinking. And I'm really good at thinking myself into a bad mood. And I will be the first person to say that I am a LOT to handle. And there are two kinds of people that put up with me: the people that have to and the people that choose to.
The people that have to are family. The people that I am biologically related to. And they've been doing it for 20ish years so they're really good at it.
The people that choose to, on the other hand, are miracles in human form. I do my best to put my best foot forward in public. Whether that be at work, in class, or some other function that puts me in view of strangers. And I'm really good at that. I'm really good at making it look like interacting with strangers is my favorite thing in the world. And I do enjoy doing that. That's why I'm involved in what I'm involved in. But it's exhausting.
Interacting with most people makes me tired. Usually in a good way. It's comparable to that satisfying exhaustion you feel after you leave the gym. You want to rest but you're happy because you think you did something good.
My batteries do not run on social interaction. I am, by definition, an introvert. An outgoing introvert, yes, but an introvert just the same. My focus is largely centered on internal stimuli and critical thinking. I value one on one time with people, especially people I am close with.

And I can tell you right now that I would not have made it through this semester without some seriously appreciated one on one time with some seriously awesome people. And I hope they're reading this and I hope they know who they are.
I do not open up the vulnerable side of me easily. I do not give people all of my trust easily. I am not the kind of guy that puts all of his eggs in one basket, so to speak. I am not usually someone who takes the risk of throwing everything that I am into relationships. I like to hold back and keep some things to myself because, despite a lifestyle that has me interacting with other people constantly, I like to live a private life on occasion.

So to those people that I have taken that leap of faith with: Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and from ever fiber of my being. Thank you for laughing with me and being there for me when laughing is the last thing I want to do. Thank you for telling me everything is going to be okay when the future looks bleak. Thank you for not running away when you realized that being my friend might be more difficult than you thought. Thank you for rising to that challenge. Thank you for listening to me rant and for listening to me freak out. Thank you for pushing me to find that happy place when I would rather just sit down and give up. Thank you for lending me your strength when I have exhausted mine. Thank you for smiling when you see me even when the look on my face expresses emotions that would imply that I am less than thrilled about the day. Thank you for talking about deep emotional stuff even when there's a million other things you'd rather be doing.
And thank you for being you. Thank you for being at the right place at the right time so that your existence could give me one more good thing to cherish.

Thanks for being there.
-- Tyler

Today I found on Tumblr:

Same, I guess.

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