Saturday, February 22, 2014

A Wall With Glass on the Inside...

This post is dedicated three ways to three very special people. They know who they are.

Carrying on!

You can tell a lot about a person by their face.

A smile indicates happiness. A frown indicates something that probably isn't happiness. An ugly face where you contort your jaw to make many chins indicates a Snapchat.

You can really tell a lot about a person by what they're doing with their body. If my arms are crossed and I'm looking down it means I'm shy. If I have my teeth clenched and my mouth shut tight it means I'm mad. If I have my teeth clenched, my mouth shut tight, and I'm holding a gun it means I'm really mad.

All funny jokes aside (and they were funny, thank you) I think we take too much at face value.

We assume that the person that is smiling is always happy, and not just happy in that specific moment. We don't think that maybe they're sad more often than they are happy.

We assume that the person that is frowning is sad, but maybe they aren't always. Maybe they just stubbed their toe.

We assume that a person who is sarcastic and always has a snarky one-liner ready to deliver and also works pretty damn hard at his/her craft and likes to smile a lot has always been sarcastic and talented and happy. Maybe they're sarcastic because they had to find a way to counteract the timidness that often got them picked on when they were younger. And maybe they smile a lot because they figure that smiling on the outside and hurting a little bit on the inside is better than hurting on both sides. And maybe they slave away at their craft because they were never good at what society expected them to be good at (sports, if you're a dude).

The people always surrounded by their friends? Maybe they push themselves onto their friends because when their alone they become overwhelmed with stress and anxiety.

Maybe what you see and hear isn't a reality at all, but just a very strong facade put on by someone who has become very talented at fooling those who watch and listen to them. A strong wall that is the result of many years solid mental work that surrounds their whole mind and is so tall that you can't fathom where the top of it might even end.

And why do people build walls these walls? Because we trick ourselves into thinking we don't want anything to do with the outside world. But that's not what we really want.

We want to find someone who will knock that son of a bitch down. We want to find someone who will look past our face value and see us for what we're really worth. We want someone to invade our mental kingdom and take over and see us for more than just the show we put on.

If the outside of the wall is brick then the inside surely must be glass. Smooth and polished glass that acts just like a mirror. So one thought reflects off the wall and back to another side and keeps ricochetting off of the barrier until God knows when. So if the thought is a negative one you're stuck until it loses its momentum.

Talk about shit out of luck.

In my almost 2 decades of life (I round up) I've found maybe three people that have even taken a gander to see behind my walls (in a non-creepy way), and I kind of like that number. If you ask School House Rock, three is a magic number. Not too many and not too few.

I can't let everyone behind the wall though. There's not enough room and I don't have the patience to be hosting a party in my head all the time, there's enough going on as it is (damn you, music school).

There's nothing quite as satisfying as meeting those people that pick up the hammer and start swinging. In some weird way, the damage is liberating. The wall doesn't just keep people out it also keeps you in, isolated from a world of possibility and endless opportunity.

Who knows where'd you be if someone didn't care enough to start tearing your wall down?

Brick by brick, until you finally can see what's on the other side.

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