I Can't Think of a Good Title...

I'm not gonna lie. The thought of college for the past few days has scared the absolute poop out of me. I'm on a campus with 30,000 other kids and very minimal adult supervision.

I didn't do a whole lot of mental preparation for this transition. I'm not gonna lie, when people told me that this is a new chapter of my life I didn't 100% believe them. This is quite the transition, though.

Please note: This isn't me complaining. Not one bit. Despite this new chapter of my life sneaking up on me, I am completely happy. My best friend is here, there are 12 other JCs here, and I'm meeting new people every day. The people on my dorm floor are friendly. The people that aren't on my dorm floor are friendly.

There's something about the atmosphere in Columbia that just makes me feel so alive. I can't wait to start making music in this new atmosphere. I can't wait to start down the next part of the path that is my life.

The people I have by my side at Mizzou are some of the best friends you could ever dream of. On top of that I have friends and family all across the state and in many parts of the nation that support me as well, and I support them.

I know that there will be tough times in college. Those 15 required foreign language credits are going to make me want to sit in a corner and cry / pull my hair out of my head. But I know I can do it.

I know that I have people cheering for me. They may not be here with me in person, but they are with me in spirit, and their support means more than the world to me.

It's getting late, so I'm going to go to bed now. I have a lot of work to do, because I have a whole life ahead of me that I need to live.

Goodnight, everyone!

Why Shouldn't I Look Back...?

So I'm sitting here packing all of my underwear (B.U.M brand, in case anyone reading this gets the inside joke) and I think it's finally starting to settle in. I'm about to start a brand new chapter of my life. I'm about to (hopefully) go out and conquer my future and pursue my dreams and make a name for myself. 

A lot of people have been telling me that I should focus on my future and not spend a lot of time looking at my past, because this is a chance for me to start over.

As nice as that sounds, I don't think that's what I want to do. I've spent a majority of the past two days reflecting on my summer, and just how much I've been blessed these past 3 months. 

There were so many things I was lucky to experience this summer: and I'm just going to allow you to see them via photograph. 

Why would I not want to look back on any of these moments? They're memories I'll carry with me forever. My summer has practically been perfect. I've spent ungodly amounts of time with the friends I love and I've managed to liberate myself from the people and things in my life that are holding me back. 

I feel so content right now. The anticipation for the next chapter of my life is killing me. 

The Swan Song and the Phoenix Ashes...

In a way I feel as if my weekend with the MASC JCs (you shouldn't be shocked at all that I'm talking about the JCs again) was my swan song.

The term "swan song" derives from the legend that swans, who are mute their entire lives, sing one beautiful, yet mournful, song just before they die.

Morbid, I know. However there were hints of beauty and mourning (at least for me personally) in that weekend. That weekend was beautiful because it was the most appropriate ending to a chapter of my life that I can think of. It was mournful because I think that by the time I got home I felt like you feel when you finish your favorite book series: You're emotionally exhausted and you have no idea where you're supposed to go from there.

While that weekend is comparable to a swan, I think it's also fair to compare it to a phoenix. The lore behind the phoenix is that when it dies, it erupts into flames and is then reborn from the ashes.

I think that weekend was my flame, and college will be the ashes. I know that with the assistance of hundreds of people I've started to discover who I am and who I want to be.

The next phase for my journey for self discovery is college. I am glad to say that a lot of important people in my life are coming with me to college. No journey goes without burden, though. Most of the people I love will not be coming with me to college.

That is why it is important that I rise from my own ashes.

For some reason, I want to shed my musician status. I don't want people to look at me and think "That's Tyler, he does music." I know that sounds weird coming from a music performance major.

No, I want people to see me and hopefully the first thing that goes through their head will be that I made them feel like somebody who matters. That means I have work to do.

So first things first, I am changing the title of this blog. My blog is now named "Smile: You're Going to Change the World."

A new title that is appropriately named after a new me. A new me with new goals.

The figurative death of my past life is necessary to be figuratively reborn into a new life. A life full of happiness, mystery, friends, and passion. A life that will be dedicated to seeing other people smile.

So remember...

Smile: You're going to change the world.

The 15 Most Inspirational People I've Met That Can't Legally Consume Alchol

I've been wanting to make this list for a while, but I've never been sure exactly who I want to put on it.

So as to respect the privacy of the people I've chosen, I've opted not to put their names on here. A lot of them know who they are. 

If you really MUST know who someone on the list is, you may contact me privately.

An example of how to inquire who someone on the list is: "Hey! I was just wondering if you could tell me who number (insert number here) is?" If I feel you should know, I'll tell you.

DO NOT do this: "Hey, so am I on your list?" That's awkward. Don't be that person, please. I'm begging you.

1. This person is one of the funniest and most laid back people I have ever met. But at the same time this person truly cares about others. I never thought I would become good friends with this person. When I first met them they were a role model for over 600 people, including myself. I never dreamed I would work alongside this person as a role model for 600 more kids. I undoubtedly put this person on a pedestal, but that’s only because they deserve to stand above the world and let their light shine for everyone to see. Too bad they live on the other side of the state.

2. Person number two is one of the most genuinely thoughtful people I have ever met. She puts anyone and everyone before herself. She was another role model, like I mentioned above. Nobody understands my love for all things Spongebob quite like this person. I’ve not had many face to face interactions with her, but it feels like we’ve been friends for years. I know that I can go to this person for anything. I aspire to be as fun and caring as this person. Again, she lives on the other side of the state... and I hate it.

3. I’m not entirely sure this person likes me very much. We don't talk a lot, but I feel like I know them pretty well. We've spent a good chunk of time together, considering we both live on opposite sides of the state, but we're not particularly close. However, there is a character trait that I deeply admire about them: It doesn't matter how tough the job is, and it doesn't matter how many obstacles stand in her way. She gets the job done. 

4. This next pick is actually a small group of people. Three people, actually (and now they know that I'm talking about them). But I think that these three people understand me better than anyone else, especially since we just started hanging out this summer. They're three of my best friends in the world, and I don't think anyone understands how blessed I feel to be able to have these three in my life. Our friendship is as natural as breathing. I have no idea what I'm going to do when I move away from two of them. We can talk about anything with each other. We can sit around and not talk at all. Either way we're making memories with each other. It's magical.

5. This person has every reason to throw in the towel. But they don't. They're strong both mentally and emotionally, and they can find any cloud's silver lining. They have a huge heart and can make the best of any situation. I'm not sure how else to word it.

6. This person I've been friends with off and on. We're not on the best of terms right now, but I can't deny that they've taught me a lot. Mostly that sometimes it's okay to mellow out and let your worries melt away. Maybe one day we can sort out our differences. Here's hoping.

7. Person number 7 has the capacity in her heart to love everybody. She refuses to see the bad in people, because she truly believes that the good is far more superior. She cares about everyone and makes the world smile. I wish I could be half the person she is. She is truly wonderful.

8. This person has been one of my best friends for a while now, and she's probably the only person I know who is more passionate about music than I am. She's literally going to college to follow her dreams of singing for a living, and I know she can do it. The only thing more beautiful than her voice is her soul. She isn't afraid to be honest, but at the same time she knows just what to tell someone to make their day instantly better. 

9. This person has come to mean more than the world to me. He's my best friend and our personalities and opinions are complete opposites. If we can be friends despite our differences than Congress has no excuse to not be getting stuff done, dammit. I think at times this person annoys me to the point that I want to leap off a bridge, but at the same time I would jump in front of a bullet for them. Their consistently chill outlook on life is the perfect balance for my uptightness. We're like salt and pepper. 

10. This girl is one of the toughest people I've ever met. She's another one of my best friends, and there's not a person in the world who I act crazier around. She knows how to have fun, despite having her share of struggles. 

11. I think the simplest way to describe this person is that her personality makes the whole world want to dance. I'm not sure how else to describe her. She's fun and she's not afraid to be herself. 

12. I met this guy last year and now he's one of my favorite people in the world. He doesn't say a lot, but his personality is infectious. He's one of those people that makes all of your worries disappear because he is a leader that lives in the moment. I'm glad I'm moving to Columbia, because it's going to make visiting this person a million times easier. 

13. I just recently started talking to this person (like this past weekend), despite having worked with them for a week in June. I never realized until this past weekend, though, just how good of a job he does of making other people happy. He's truly a selfless person, and an incredible leader. The best part is how effortless he makes it look, though. 

14. I met this girl last summer as well, and to this day she is arguably the nicest person I've ever met. She's the first person to volunteer when someone needs help with anything, AND I WAS ONE OF THE FIRST CAMPERS TO MEET HER SO HA TO EVERYONE ELSE. 

15. If there's a person who can rival person #14 in kindness, it's this girl. She's quiet, but she cares deeply for the well being of other people. She's also ridiculously talented when it comes to expressing herself, and I know the world should hear what she has to say.

The end.

Thinking of you, wherever you are...

So I'm a geek and I have played the Kingdom Hearts video game series since it came out. The games themselves are completely irrelevant to what I wanted to write about. There's one quote that is said in the game, though, that sticks with me. The quote goes like this:

"Thinking of you, wherever you are.
 We pray for our sorrows to end,
 and hope that our hearts will blend.
 Now I will step forward to realize this wish.
 And who knows:
 starting a new journey may not so hard
 or maybe it has already begun.
 There are many worlds,
 but they share the same sky-
 one sky, one destiny."

I can't deny that I'm having difficulty grasping the fact that the people I've grown so close to and I are starting to forge our own individual paths. That's life, and it's a game you have to play. Of course, the old cliche goes that "life isn't fair" and unfortunately a combination of student loans and the fact that Doritos are bad for my health have taught me that this cliche is horribly true. 

It pains me to think that some of my best friends in the world, the people in the world I love more than anything else in the world (including Doritos... so this is a pretty big freaking deal) I've spent at max a total of 17 days with. At minimum I've spent a little over 8 days of my life with them. 

My feelings towards this realization are mixed. On the one hand of course it makes me sad that I've spent such a small amount of time with people who mean so much to me. On the other hand I'm pretty dang proud of the relationships I've formed. 

I meant to say this over the weekend (both on my last post and out loud) but I've taken a strange comfort in knowing that the people that matter to me will forever stand under the same sky that I do. And when it's dark out I can look up and see the same stars that they do. It makes the distance seem less significant and it gives the illusion that our vast world isn't quite as overwhelming.

We all live under the same stars, and like those stars, we shine bright in each other's lives. 

My life will forever shine brighter because of the people I've been blessed to know.

That's all I wanted to say, really.

Perfectly Imperfect...

The following is an accumulation of all of my writing this past weekend, during my camp JC reunion:

Liberty High School has its merits. There are some awesome people. I got a phenomenal education. I feel significantly more prepared to tackle the real world than most people... at least I think so. 

But Liberty High School was a public school with over a thousand teenagers roaming the halls during any given school day, and teenagers are fickle beings. Hormones are crazy, and weird, and they don’t make any sense. High school also created a mold. Deny it all you want but I have yet to see a school where there’s a certain image that you’re expected to fit into if you want to be popular and fit in. 

I know I write about MASC a lot, but I don’t think there’s a group of people in the world who deserves more recognition than my family at MASC. They’re some of the most crazy, real, and supportive people I’ve ever had the pleasure of forming bonds with. They’re also the only group of people I’ve ever felt like I can be 100% me around. With MASC there is no mold. There’s no image. There’s you and there’s your friends. They love you for who you are. The only thing they want out of you is for you to be happy and to give 110% in everything you do (we call that gusto, by the way). 

If I found a magic lamp and I could have three wishes one of them would be Jennifer Lawrence. The second wish would be for my college education to be paid for in full (like 100% free). My final wish would be for anyone who feels like they need to find themselves to be able to experience at least one week at camp. 

MASC is the perfect place to do soul searching. They do a fantastic job of allowing you to express who you are and who you want to be. They accept you. All of you. Your beliefs, your talents, your flaws, your everything. They accept and they love you. Just you. Not the image that you feel like you had to create.

As pathetic as it sounds, it has taken me a good 17 years to even begin defining who I am. I talk about my music a lot, and it plays a huge part in who I am, who I’ve become, and who I plan on being. Music is my passion. MASC is who I am.

I am Tyler. I am crazy. I am passionate. I’m a huge poop head. I’m sarcastic. I’m an evil little s*** sometimes. I care about my friends with an unfathomable passion. In all honesty I probably care a little too much. Scratch that. I KNOW I care a little too much. I won’t deny that I became a little attached to the people I feel close to. And there’s a hopeless feeling deep in my stomach that I won’t see some of these people again (thankfully a lot of them are going to Mizzou with me). A lot of them aren’t going to college with me, though. And that sucks.

I’m in no way ready for this weekend to be over. Any time I can spend with the other JCs is time that I cherish. Especially mah gurl Danica (I like Danica too much to edit that part out). There’s not a lot of people I can be friends with effortlessly. The JCs though are an absolute miracle. Our bond is seamless. We worked together for seven short days. In those seven days we created friendships that look like they’ve taken 7 years to form. 

There’s not a whole lot I want to say in this post. Actually I’m not sure there’s a point at all. I really just wanted to talk about how much I love the JCs. This weekend will be one that I remember forever. If it was up to me it would last a little (a lot) longer. My time with these friends is comparable to Spicy Nacho Doritos. I simply can’t get enough. 

All cheesy similes aside, I don’t think I’d be the same person I am now if I hadn’t met these people. While I think it’s important to be yourself, that doesn’t mean the influences of the world around you don’t help define who you are. I would never have the positive outlook on life that I do now without the help of people from MASC. I would never have been able to look beyond myself and see a whole world ready to have some crazy, positive, and revolutionary people from my generation make a change and impact the world in amazing ways. Without MASC I wouldn’t have an eye for opportunity.

Because opportunities are not meant to be passed up. 

If there’s one thing I don’t want to do it’s live a life full of regrets, and I in no way regret becoming a part of this family. They’re perfectly imperfect. I know that its a strange way to describe them, but I believe it’s the best way to describe them. We’ve all been through our hardships, but our past struggles don’t matter here. We’re together and we’re happy and that’s all that matters because, while we look to the future, we simply live in the moment. We are perfectly content with just being around each other. We’re the perfect team, and an unstoppable force of positivity.

And we will change the world.

Brice is pretty.

Life lesson #754: If you let MASC people “edit” your posts, they’ll add stuff. 

And I’m Indy’s Biaatch (No I’m not... yes I am).

To My 10 Year Old Self...

I spend disgusting amounts of time watching YouTube videos on Soulpancake’s channel. They are seriously the second most inspiring group of people (MASC will always be first) I have ever witnessed. Today I watched a video where they gave total strangers a chance to write a letter to their ten year old self. I don’t know why I thought this was so cool, but I thought it might be something that I want to try... so here we go!

Dear 10 year old self,

First I feel like I should warn you: You’re going to have the hair of a Jewish man by the time you turn 15. Don’t question it. Don’t hate it. Don’t try and change it. EMBRACE IT. It’s going to become your trademark. Looks aren’t important, though. Just kidding. You’re going to be vain when you’re in high school. So that random 30 pounds you gain Sophomore year? Don’t worry. You’re going to work for your slave driving grandfather (That’s sarcasm) that following summer and lose ALL of it and then PRESTO you’re going to be a bean pole again. OH PS you get mono your sophomore year so any hopes of getting a 4.0 ever again are shot. Oh well. 

That viola you just begged mom and dad to let you start playing? Keep playing. Practice a lot. But don’t practice to the point where you hate it. You’re going to find your future in that instrument. You’re actually going to be good at it (One of the top 10 in the state by the time you graduate high school). You’ll make a lot of friends through your music. 

While we’re on the topic of music... when you’re about to be a Freshman you’re going to consider taking debate. DO NOT DO IT. TAKE CHOIR. PLEASE TAKE CHOIR. That will end up being your biggest musical regret. Yes you’ll be kind of decent at debate. You’ll love choir. Do it. 

Oh, and you’re going to join Student Council at the end of 7th grade. By the grace of God you’re going to win your election. And then your advisor is going to suggest you go to MASC StuCo camp. You’re going to procrastinate turning the money in. DO. NOT. PROCRASTINATE. If not joining choir was my biggest musical regret, not turning in that check will be my biggest regret EVER. StuCo camp is magical, and you’re only going to get to be a camper once and a junior counselor once. 

I know you’re feeling super lost. You don’t quite fit in with anybody. You’re not athletic, you’re not socially adept at all. Nobody in school is the right shade of crazy for you. The people at camp are your perfect shade of crazy. The friends you make at camp will mean more to you than anybody else in your life. Go to camp while you can so you can spend more time with these people. They get you. And they’re all going to see you ugly cry and they aren’t going to laugh at you until the next day. So they’re good people.

Remember how I said you’re feeling super lost? Yeah, that gets better. Suffer through middle school and junior high. High school isn’t too bad. Actually you’ll meet like all but one of your best friends in high school. 

That being said you won’t fit the norm in high school either. Your aspirations to become athletic are still dashed. You’re not coordinated and you can still barley run a mile. However, as your high school career progresses you’ll start to learn that it’s okay to be different. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being different. Stand out. People will pity you enough to vote you onto Homecoming AND Prom court.

Most importantly make sure you’re having fun. Live your life with the goal of making other people smile and you’re sure to be happy. And don’t take life so damn seriously all the time. Breathe, bud.

And try not to hit that girl’s car in the parking lot during sophomore year... it’ll be super embarrassing.

Trust your gut. Have fun. Live your life with gusto. Keep your friends close and tell your enemies to take a hike. 

Don’t be a stranger! Oh wait...

-- Older Tyler