Anticipation...

If my senior year of high school was the mile run that I'm forced to suffer through in gym, this portion of the year would be what I like to call "The last stretch." It's that part of the mile where athletically challenged kids (Such as myself) are super winded, have a stitch in their side, but you know if you don't finish everyone will laugh at you. 

My trick to actually finishing the mile before class is over, though, is to envision the satisfaction finishing the run will bring. So that's how I'm going to power through the last month of school (and there really is only a month left of my high school career): I'm going to envision all of the fun I'm going to have this summer, and if I overcome the obstacle that is senioritis I will have earned the right to have a great summer. 

Things I am looking forward to this summer:

1. Life guarding. Is that weird? I'm looking forward to working. I mean... "working." I think I have the best possible summer job. Sit there, get a tan, get paid. The hard part of my job so far? I had to sit there in the rain once. I have to check the chemicals in the pool. I clean the bathroom on occasion. I mean, as long as nobody starts drowning it's pretty easy (so don't get any ideas, Woodneath residents). The best part of this summer is probably the fact that I'm friends with a majority of the people at my pool this summer. Oh, and the money.

2. Royal's games. So this weekend I learned that, SURPRISE, you can go to sporting events and have fun if you're in good company. Who knew? I for sure want to go back. It's a good opportunity to just relax and enjoy myself, and we all totally deserve to relax and enjoy ourselves after the stresses of high school are put behind us.

3. Worlds of Fun... I hope. Rollercoasters really bring out my inner adrenaline junky, and I promised myself that there were a few people who were going to get over their fear of amusement park rides whether they liked it or not. Challenge accepted.

4. My final two youth symphony concerts. Youth symphony is a life changing program that helps anyone and everyone evolve as a musician, and I'm going to cherish these last two concerts. I don't know what I'll do with my Sundays after June.

5. My senior recital. People don't appreciate the dedication and discipline it takes to be a musician. This is my chance to show everyone what I've been working on for the past 7 and a half years. 

6. Potentially MASC camp? That has yet to be determined, but I'm going to cross my fingers and hold my breath and say a quick prayer that I can go back one more time. 

7. Spending time with friends. Whether it's at the pool, or sitting around a fire in someone's driveway, I'm going to cherish the time I get to spend with people this summer. I go off to big boy school in a few months, and a lot of us will be parting ways very soon. Who am I kidding? I'm going to be a hot mess on move-in day. Someone's going to have to hold me. 

I'm not sure what the future holds in store for me, but I'm going to hold my head high and hope for a good summer. This is the final stretch of the race, and I plan on finishing strong. 

Have a great rest of your weekend everyone!

-- Tyler

My Ten Favorite Moments In High School So Far...

I'm just going to say that picking my top ten moments in high school (so far) is no easy task. I've had more than my fair share of amazing experiences, but I'll give it my best shot.

I present, in no particular order, my ten favorite moments I had in high school:

10. Opening day at the Kauffman Center - Fall 2011 - Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts: Youth Symphony was like... one of the first groups to play in Hellzberg Hall, which is easily one of the best concert halls in the nation.We sounded awesome. And by the end of my final season in KCYS, I'll have played in there five times. It gets my heart racing every time I think about it. 

9. Youth Symphony of Kansas City Fall concert - Fall 2012 - UMKC: This was my second concert as the principal violist in the top group for KCYS. We played Brahm's Academic Festival Overture and Elgar's Enigma Variations. And the Elgar had a viola solo. Sweet Jesus. The solo wasn't even that hard, and it was a few measures long... but it was probably the single most frightening musical experience I've ever had. 

8. Mission Trip - Summer 2012 - DeSoto, MO: This was easily one of the most introspective experiences I've ever had. I had just tried my hand at church, and I figured "Eh? Why not go on a mission trip?" I can't even begin to express what a good decision that was. I think that by going and learning more about God and getting some "hands on experience" I was able to learn more about myself. As the week progressed I really got the chance to reflect on my life and my values, and decide who and what meant something to me. Oh, and I got to go to City Museum... so there's the cherry on top of the sundae. 

7. All-State Orchestra - Winter 2013 - Tan-Tar-A Resort: This was my second year in all-state. I finished my high school music career as 8th in the state on viola. Hooray! I'm not going to lie, I actually really hate the idea of all-state. That makes me sound like a bit of a prick, I know. But the idea of spending a week doing like 3 or 4 two hour rehearsals every day (and having to put up with some super weird room mates) isn't really what I'd call "fun." What made all-state 2013 earn a spot on the list was the times I got to spend with friends outside of rehearsal. Whether we were bowling, playing in an arcade, or having a potluck with a really weird assortment of foods (I had pizza wrapped in bacon and a tortilla shell, if that tells you anything), we were usually always laughing. Oh, and the conductor called us hot mamas and papas. That was an added bonus. 

6. Float Trip - Summer 2012 - Elk River, MO... ish: This was just a really nice relaxing weekend. I got to bring two of my best friends with me on a float trip, and we had fun. And when we were done floating it started to rain and we watched a movie that I don't even remember the plot of anymore. It was a good way to end the summer with some of my favorite people. Simple as that.

5. Student Council Northwest District Convention - Fall 2012 - Chillicothe High School... I think: This was my first year going to StuCo districts and actually knowing people. I got to reunite with some camp friends (and I seize every opportunity I get to spend time with them, because the chances are rare) and spend a good chunk of the day having a dance party with my home council. The energy at any MASC event is incredible. In 8th grade I was the kid who awkwardly sat in the corner and didn't participate in the dance at all. This year I was shamelessly doing Gangnam Style surrounded by hundreds of strangers. Hey, that's what MASC does to you in five years. 

4. MASC State Convention - Spring 2012 - Truman High School: This is where my love for StuCo was truly awakened. I will never forget the MASC State Convention for as long as I shall live. State is the reason I became absolute determined to go to StuCo camp. I learned so much about what it means to be a leader at state.

3. Winter Energizer - Winter 2013 - Jefferson City, MO: Being away from my MASC family for months at a time is excruciatingly painful. Being away from the joy and harmony of MASC itself for any given amount of time is also painful. That's why you have Energizer. It's a chance to go back and see your friends from summer camp, and have the weekend of your life. That's not an exaggeration. Winter Energizer was the single best weekend of my life so far. I got to spend time with some of my Family K and see other MASC friends as well as make MORE MASC friends (one can never have too many MASC friends). Winter Energizer is the reason why I find pink lemonade to be one of the funniest things in the world, and I wish I could explain why that is... but that'd be an awkward conversation that nobody except my friends in Cabin 2 would understand. Sorry. 

2. ASTA Convention- Winter/Spring 2013 -  Boston, MA and Providence, RI - I've never had the opportunity to bond with an orchestra like I did in Boston. I got to know people that I never thought I would ever take the chance to become friends with, and that week my name was changed to Alex. Sometimes you just have to roll with things, ya know? Whether we were running through the mall where everything was way too expensive, we were building a teddy bear in Build-A-Bear-Workship, or we were getting matching polos for the ASTA banquet, I was having the time of my life. If I could go back and relive Boston, I would do it in a heartbeat. 

1. MASC Summer Leadership Workshop - Summer 2012 - Fulton, MO: I've said pretty much all there is to say about camp. It's the single best week of my life I've ever had. I got to be a part of Family K and experience the magic of Fulton, and I think it's made me a different (and better) person. There will always be a special place in my heart for MASC and my MASC family. We started the week as total strangers, and by the end of camp we were close enough that to outsiders it would have seemed awkward.

There. My ten favorite moments during high school. Granted, I still have two more performances left in the Kauffman Center, graduation, prom, and I'm determined to see my Family K again before I graduate. So this is all subject to change. But for the time being, this is what has made my life pretty much awesome for the last 2 years. 

Stay awesome, everyone!

-- The Jewish looking kid with German heritage (that's me)

Change...

I guess it's inevitable that my life is going to start changing now that I'm reaching the final stretch of my high school career. It still seems incredibly surreal that in a few months I'm probably going to be living in a dorm room with a total stranger and I'll practically be on my own when it's not the summer, a major holiday, a break, or a weekend when I decided I'm too poor and need to collect my dues from my parents.

In the past month alone the amount of change I've seen in my life is ridiculous. People that I had pretty much severed connections with (and had absolutely no hope of being close to ever again) are making an effort to reconnect (and you won't hear me complaining). People are starting to realize that time is both precious and also the enemy.

Speaking of time, it seems I have really poor timing. I have come to realize that, unlike what seems to be the status quo attitude, I actually am quite fond of a decent amount of the underclassmen at Liberty High School. What sucks is the fact that 1) they're underclassmen and wont' be graduating with me. 2) I waited until my last semester of high school to get to know most of them. Oops...

Needless to say my whole world is slowly but surely being flipped onto its head, and there's a lot of evidence to suggest that the class of 2013 is starting to realize that the little bubble called "high school" that we've been living in for the past three years is about to burst whether we like it or not. On more than one occasion the paralyzing and somewhat overwhelming fear of my uncertain future has driven me to almost pee my pants.

This is all happening so fast.

What do you mean I need to pick a career path?

What do you mean I need to find a way to pay for college?

What do you mean I'm pretty much living away from Liberty for months at a time?

This is all happening so fast.

Can I get pregnant from this?

Who's going to pay child support?

Who's going to put me back on track when I get distracted like I just did ten seconds ago?

Who is going to answer all of these questions? I don't have a magic eight ball anymore!

I'm one part excited and one part nervous to start a new chapter in my life. I'm confident that if I follow my gut everything will work out, though. Here's hoping that college leads to a life that I love (preferably with a steady and comfortable income... talk about musician problems).

Cheers!

-- The sarcastic kid with the Jewish hair...

I see the world in colors of leadership...

I have yet to leave my bed and I'm currently munching on pretzel sticks with Nutella, because I love America.

I thought it would be fun to start off this post with a list. Let the record show that I almost typed "start this post off with a lisp" which would have been sufficiently awkward because then I would have to replace all of the S's in this post with the combination of TH and that would take way too much time, so let's be glad I caught my mistake and this really isn't topical at all so I'm going to move on.

The list:

Things Tyler Could Be Doing Instead of Blogging That Would Be Much More Productive:

1. Working on the paper that he hasn't been at school to write due to illness.
2. Working on the math that he hasn't been at school to learn due to illness.
3. Working on the psychology that he hasn't been at school to study due to illness.
4. Clean his room (lolz, how 'bout no?).
5. Do his laundry (I'm running out of stretchy pants). 
6. Practice his viola (I really should, though). 
7. Practice for choir.
8. Walk his dog.
9. Play with this dog.
10. Walk his brother.
11. Shovel the driveway.
12. Push-ups
13. Sit-ups
14. Bathe the dog
15. Bathe himself

I could do all of those things... but that sounds like work. Instead, I want to share some stuff with anyone who is bored enough to read this blog. And by "stuff" I really mean I just want to take this moment to talk about MASC and my experience at Winter Energizer. I'm perfectly aware that this post is way overdue, but I'm a busy person and, since my Xbox froze, I figured now would be a better time than ever, because it's not like I have a long list of things I could (should) be doing instead. 

*insert transition that I didn't want to think of here*

One of my favorite things that I did with MASC was when I took a survey that told me my "True Colors." It's this concept that there are four different styles of personality/leadership, and they're each represented by a color. 

The four colors are teal, orange, silver, and green. Each one of them represents a very real, very human personality. Each color has its strengths. Each color has its weaknesses. 

Teals are authentic. According to dictionary.com authentic is defined as: "not false or copied; genuine." Teals are the people who put their heart on their sleeve and want to show the world affection and receive affection in return. They value compassion and sympathy. Teals do not stand for being deceived. They express enthusiasm and foster harmony. Teals promote the growth and development of others. Teals are compassionate.

Oranges are skillful. They are spontaneous and want to be free. They value skills, having options, and charisma. They want flexibility and want to avoid rigidness. Oranges are known for being optimistic, if not a little impatient. Oranges are confident and eager. They foster enjoyment and fun. Oranges promote stimulation and taking risks. Oranges are fun-loving. 

Silvers are dutiful. They want assets, security, and to have an influence on others. Silvers value dependability, accountability, and responsibility. They do not enjoy disobedience, non-conformity, or insubordination. Silvers express concern (when needed), stability, and purpose. They respect loyalty and obligation while promoting a team atmosphere, bonds, and organization. Silvers are stable. 

Greens are intelligent. They dream of truth, perfection, and accuracy. They value answers, resolutions, and explanations. They dislike injustice and unfairness. They express coolness, and calm collectedness, and reservation. They respect one's capabilities and promote effectiveness, competence, and know-how. Greens are tough-minded. 

If there's one thing I learn and relearn whenever I transition from MASC to normal life, it's that there isn't one person who can't relate to one of these colors (if not all of them) in some way. It's impossible to not identify with one of these colors because all of these colors describe what it means to be human. And unless you're a reptile / amphibian / bird / fish / invertebrate / non-human mammal you'll identify with one of these descriptions, too. 

I remember the first time I took the quiz that was designed to tell me what my color(s) were. After I finished it my Kouncil (I know how I spelled it) and I got to reflect on what we thought it meant. It was an awesome experience. When I know someone's color it immediately radiates out of them. They become a huge ball of teal / orange / silver / green. Knowing your color allows for a lot of introspection. I remember when I forced one of my best friends to sit down and take the quiz. Ironically we scored exactly opposite. That's what's awesome. All of the colors, when utilized correctly, are compatible with one another.

So this is my "challenge" to you. If you read this, and it piqued your interest, I would like for you to simply comment on the Facebook post that held the link to this blog with what color(s?) you think I am. I take this quiz once a month and it usually yields consistent results, but I want to see if the way I'm perceived matches the way I perceive myself. And in return I want to take a stab at what color I think you might be. Just for funsies.

PS If you already know what color I am you're BANNED from the game. That would be cheating.

That's all.

Stay in school, everyone!

The Grumpy Old Troll Who Lived Under a Bridge...

Let me just say that it's 1:30 in the morning and I have no intention of going to sleep anytime soon. I don't know why... I'm just not sleepy...

Okay that's a lie, I'm really tired. But I can't sleep... so hopefully I'll bore myself with writing and fall asleep. Except I'm sitting at the bar in my basement (18 years sober! Ba dum tss!) so sleeping wouldn't be that comfortable. Just don't blame me if this post doesn't make any sense... blame... biology... or something.

Recent events have made me do a lot of soul searching these last few days (am I the only person who seems to do a lot of soul searching?). And by "soul searching" I really just mean "critical thinking while I'm taking a shower." I hope I'm not the only one that does that. In my head I'm like "time to do some deep thinking" but everyone around me hears "I'm going to take a shower." Maybe it's the steam. Anyways, one thing I've concluded is that the new computer that I'm currently writing this on freaking flies. It's so much faster than the little brick I was writing on earlier.

The other conclusion I arrived at is that it seems that most of my problems derive from poor communication and misunderstanding. Seem a little obvious? That's what makes it so frustrating. Such a simple concept should be easy to avoid, right? So what makes it so common? So difficult? Well if you were expecting some philosophical and incredibly wise answer from me you're out of luck. I have no idea. I even asked Google, but a Google search of "why is misunderstanding so common" resulted in "Common Misunderstandings of Buddhism." Correct me if I'm wrong, but something tells me that this result won't aid me in my endeavors to answer my question.

This past week, though, has been infested with misunderstanding after misunderstanding. Whether it's a misunderstanding that derived from orthodontic work (don't ask) or a misunderstanding that derived from the fact that I'm simply a bit of a drama king (I don't need to emasculate myself any further, I'm a non-athletic musician), it seemed that some bit of information was always being misunderstood or left out and that always led to someone getting upset.

 If you asked me "Why?" I'd probably respond with "Hell if I know." What I do know is that these misunderstandings have taken a toll on my mood. This break I started out as that kid sitting atop Cloud 9 looking down on the world feeling absolutely 100% invincible. Nothing could bring me down simply because the ones that tried weren't capable of changing my mood and the ones that could change my mood were simply nice enough to elevate me and wanted to see me happy.

For a time.

You see, occasionally I'm known to grind on the nerves of people and push the envelope just a little too far. I started off as the kid riding Cloud 9 but then I quickly took a free fall and metamorphosed into the grumpy old troll who lives under a bridge. It's true that in the beginning the people who had the ability to knock me out of my happy place didn't do so simply because they were my friends. When they were happy I was happy. However, like a snake, they would attack when provoked. Stupidly enough I was the dumb ass who thought "heh... let's poke it with a stick." Needless to say, I got bit. What's even more unfortunate is that the snake was venomous. Whoops.

Now they say when you get bit by a snake you're supposed to suck the venom out. So that's what I'm going to do. The process takes time, though. With time I hope to be able to climb out from under my bridge, transform back into a being that doesn't resemble a grumpy old troll, and hopefully be on friendly terms with all of the venomous snakes again. Here's hoping.

Totally unrelated side-note: I just watched Marcel the Shell with Shoes On. This is me attempting to use the powers of subliminal messaging. Now I'll just go be direct: Go watch it on YouTube. I don't know why I thought it was funny because I'm pretty sure it's one of those videos that girls like to watch and be like "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's so cute!" Okay, women, guess what? I watched an interview with the voice actor for Marcel the Shell (sometimes I just get bored and watch videos on YouTube... judge me). 1. The voice actor is a chick. 2. She's weird. So there. However, Marcel the Shell With Shoes On did say something rather meaningful. At the end of the second video Marcel asks the cameraman...

"Guess why I smile a lot."

To which the cameraman replies with a rather guess-able "Why?"

"Uhhh... cause it's worth it."

You go, Marcel the Shell With Shoes On... you go.




If you've been reading my posts up until now then you deserve a huge "thank you." I don't really write to entertain people, I write to organize the jumble of thoughts that seems to consistently be bouncing around inside my head. Not to brag, but I was given the gift/curse of being able to retain a larger amount of information than normal (just never information that I seem to need to know for tests in school... funny how the world works), and this is kind of how I relieve myself of some thoughts.

If there's a topic that you thing I should be aware of or if you'd like to see me write about, feel free to comment on the Facebook post containing the link to this blog. If we're not friends on Facebook then I have absolutely no idea how you stumbled across this blog... and that's a little concerning.

Well it's now 2:05 AM and I should probably get some sleep, lest my whole biological clock gets turned around just in time to go back to school. That would be grand, wouldn't it?

No, it wouldn't.

Not Resolutions...Guidelines...

Good news! The Mayans didn't kill us. What a relief. I must say, I was so concerned. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas / Kwanzaa / Hanukkah / whatever it is you choose to celebrate around this time of year. We're about to start a new year, though. It's the last day of 2012, and I must say this year has been rather interesting. There have been some good times, there have been some great times, and I've had some of the best memories come out of this year. Despite the fact that 2012 isn't ending quite how I wanted it to, I'm going to take it as a challenge.

Last January I posted the things I wanted to change in my life. They were as follows: 

- I want to work on being a nicer person. It's safe to stay I still have a lot of work to do. 

- Eat healthier. Uhhhhhh... we'll skip that one. #TeenageBoyProblems

- Start exercising. I actually stuck to this one for a while. Going to the gym was some of the most fun I've ever had.

- Post on here more. Check.

- Live life for me. Yeah... that's not happening anytime soon. Oh well.

- Volunteer more. I went on a mission trip over the summer that was full of volunteer opportunities. I've also volunteered a lot this year with StuCo. It's fun and gratifying. 

- Spend more time with friends. In the long run that may have been more hurtful than helpful in some instances. 

- Start taking school seriously. If you can count taking easier classes for your senior year to boost your GPA as taking school seriously... then mission accomplished!

- Censoring myself. Well... I'm not a miracle worker. So... 

I'm not sure how smart it was for me to set up so many resolutions at once. Scratch that. It was really dumb of me to set myself so many resolutions at one time, because I managed to stick to like... three. 

So I've decided to try a new approach. Instead of setting a resolution I've decided to institute guidelines for me. Basic rules that I am going to live my life by in order to well... not f*** stuff up. 

So here they are. My guidelines.

1. Think before I react. Shit undeniably happens. Issac Newton said it best in his Law's of Motion when he claimed that "every action has an equal and opposite reaction." I must admit I haven't been abiding by that law very much. It's been more like "for every action Tyler will have available a reaction that is over the top and over dramatic." Yes yes, I know. My bad. I want to work on it though. You see, at first I didn't care if I upset someone with my dramatic tendencies because typically the people I upset were people that I really didn't give two shits about. I stepped over that boundary too, though. My diva-ness has started to take a toll on a relationship that I and another have put a lot of time and effort into... again. It's a miracle that they've put up with me for this long, and I'm praying that things can go back to the way they were. 

2. The rule of Karma. It's pretty simple. I should not dish out crap and not expect people to not throw crap right back in my face. I figure a three-fold system would apply nicely here. Whatever I do is going to come back to me three-fold. Sometimes it's better to just hold your tongue... or so I've heard. 

So there they are. My New Years guidelines that hopefully will last me more than a year. Feel free to remind me of them whenever I seem to stray from the path that I have created for myself. 

Now that I think about it, though, I don't like the idea of New Years Guidelines. Why wait until the new year to start applying them to my life. Why not start...

... now?

 

I Take Back Everything I Said... Everything 'Till Now...

Do you remember the post I made where I expressed all of my fears for college?

I take it back.

 At this point in time I can't wait for college. Anything to get me away from this house. It should say a lot about a family who manages to fight on days like Christmas and birthdays. I would love nothing more than to move 3 hours away and live in a dorm so I don't have to put up with these people on a daily basis.

That's really all I wanted to say.